Monday, July 27, 2009

Back and again......

I've been absent from blogging for quite sometime..... Not that I could not really find time to do so. Have been having writer's block for the past six months or so.... I read on a blog (someone I knew) whom had someone shared with her this phrase "I could do whatever I wanted and didn't have to push myself if I didn't want to". Such simple yet encouraging phrase that I think it suits me well. I am those people who tend to push ownself harder than they did to others. I can be such a perfectionist! But I tried not to - thanks to my occasional laziness that creep into my life that stop me from being a living hell to those people around me.

Recently, I've heard from my superior who chatted with my subordinate who are living the company. My subordinate said I am different from the rest of the Team Leader he worked with. My superior sums it all saying that I am very discipline or can be considered strict. So my next question to my superior is... did my subordinate complained that I am too strict? My superior said no just that from what he gathers, I can be seen as a very discipline person. Well, discipline is good right? It has to be..... though my superior said it's good. I am aware that initially it might be hard for those working under me who has to perform or at least match up to the high standard that I impose. I have since learn to be not so rigid and learn to measure others by their own capabilities not my own. I believe I am getting there......

At work, I've been constantly living in the past and yet coming back to the present. Still having the blissful memories of those happy times I had when my friend, Judy is still working here with me. During that time, I was never lonely at work. Coming back to the present time, since I rejoin this company without Judy working here, I've been trying to get my own click but the feeling of belonging seems to never last long no matter how hard I tried. It bothers me at the beginning. Then I noticed that it might be due to some jealousy issues. Then I just bury myself in work and stop bothering. And then I just stop trying..... making friends which having advantage of each other, pulling each others leg, having a poker face are not my motive of coming to work everyday. Having said that, I just realized it's not worth it chasing after those things. After all, what are the use of having colleague-friends who be friends with you without having a genuine or sincere friendship in mind? In work place, there's always power-crazy, advantage-taker, back-stabber, selfish-b***hes/b****rds, green-eye-monsters lurking around in the office trying to do their thing hoping that no one notices their true colour. So, beware!

5 comments:

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Amidrin, just live your live as you want it to be.
No matter where we are, no matter where we work, no matter what we do, there's always someone, some people who may not agree with us...thats why all of us are different.

Some like blur color, some like red, some like Hondas, some prefer Toyotas, some like BMW's whatever....
Just laugh over it...and smile.
Never can tell who is falling in love with your smile.
Have a pleasant week, Lee.

firethorn said...

so glad u r back in blogosphere :)

JO-N said...

Amidrin, it's nice to read this post of yours. It makes me think of the time when I was working. Now that I'm working at home, helping my hubby with all his paper work, I'm free from all those "devils".

Well, take Uncle Lee's advice, you may not have everyone agree with you no matter how good you are.

You know, the one thing that a smart and efficient person needs to learn is not to expect others to achieve his / her standard. My hubby needs to learn that too.

Martini said...

hi Amidrin, glad to see you coming back. Yeah, that's working life, you will learn more as time goes by! Just like you said, be aware with the people around you :)

Amidrin said...

Uncle Lee - thank you for the sound advise. I will keep that in mind.

Firethorn - Ya, I am glad to be back too!

Jo-N - Good for you! Yes, I will take Uncle Lee's advise in heart. Thanks!

Martini - Yup! Got to be aware. Thanks!