Saturday, June 14, 2008

Love Q #7 - Is Love Enough?

This week Love Q created by the author of Short Sweet Love Poem are as follows:

Is love alone enough in a relationship?

My answer:

I would say.... without love, there is no "real relationship". "Real relationship" here means it's a union between two people, man and woman who gets married because they sincerely love each other and want to spend their rest of their life together - to go through ups and downs of life, sharing all happiness and unhappiness together, supports and sustains each other without ulterior motives other than the reason beause they love each other.

If without money, food and shelter you could not sustain a relationship, then it is by far you do not love each other enough in the first place to begin with. But of course material things is important in order to survive in this world because we are all mortal and not self sufficient. If you're poor and your partner is poor, it is by instinct that both of you would work something out to make the life spend together as comfortable as possible. With love that strong, both would feel contented even with that little things that they have.

If you're blessed enough to have a rich comfortable life with your partner, and suddenly disaster strike and taken away all material things, would you still be able to stay and live together after that? If your answer is no, then you're actually loving the money and material things more than the relationship. And that is not a relationship at all. That's call "trading agreement" however, it not necessary two agree on the same thing but as long as the real element of interest that you want to get out of each other is there, then the "togetherness" will still be there. Else, you can kiss each other goodbye.

If a girl marries a man because he's rich and suddenly her husband goes bankcrupt, the marriage would definitely goes sour. The same reason if a man marries a woman because she's beautiful, and when they gets older he might leave his wife for someone younger and even more beautiful than his wife. This is an example of starting a relationship and getting married with a wrong reason. Maybe there exist some element of love but if either one love something else more than what's in the circle of love in that relationship, then the relationship is like rocky volcano mountain waiting for it to erupt and be distroyed. This is because material and physical things in this world does not last forever. Love does.

If you have a lot of money now, can you guarantee that you'll stay rich forever? If you're flawlessly beautiful, can you guarantee that you'll not grow old and ugly one day? But if there is real love, nothing can take that love away. Well, of course there should also be some element of trust, understanding and all such things. Even if those things is not there in the first place, but if there is love both will work towards getting those things work in the relationship. If your partner really love you, they will not want to do anything that hurt you. If they love you, they'll respect you and will try their very best to understand you. If you love your partner, you'll try your very best to understand him/her too. And you'll also try to develop that trust that is needed in the relationship. Because you love him/her, you'll have faith the he/she'll change their bad ways. We are all not perfect. If he really love you in the first place, he will not abuse you. Well, unless he's sick in the head. If there's lack of communications but there's love, you'll both work out to solve the communication barrier together to make the relationship works.

Love alone, is definitely enough in a relationship because it is the basis of it and love builds a strong foundation for a relationship. So, with love the relationship will stay for as long as both shall live. And even when their physical body dies, the love will still be there forever.

Last week's Love Q: Criterias For Choosing A Mate


JM said...

Interesting thoughts, and I agree with you on most points, but what about things like trust and commitment? Can you really have a relationship with no trust?

Anonymous said...

I happen to agree with yours but love needs to be based on respect for each other as an indivdual... well thought out answer though...x

Anonymous said...

agree with you, material, money, beauty, all can not last forever, but for me trust is another important factor that is needed to support a relatioship.

MAE said...

i agree also with your points, but as i mentioned in is NOT ENOUGH..but it is the most important in relationship

Tot's Mom said...

Wow! Such a long answer. Reading through it, I think you must be a romantic at heart! Anyway, no doubt, love is important and love sustains a lot of things in a relationship. But I also tend to think other factors can also make or break a relationship, though. :)

JO-N said...

Wow, very well written. I think love is most important in a relationship but other factors do come in along the way.

sting said...

that's beautifully written.. so pure... :-)

I do agree with the other commentators that there are other things that should matter too... just out of curiosity, do you think one may fall out of love?

stubborn-daydreamer said...

maybe by saying that we don't need material things in this modern world for love is a great thing to do and everyone else should think of only love, love and love, but the truth hurts...not everyone believes in it. Can people really survive on love alone? It's really hard to tell..

jiawen said...

mm... i think its really count on how much u love the person because if u really love someone, u will try ur best to sustain eventhough it's hard but if u don't really love the person, then it's definately cannot.

for a man who is initially crushed onto / love a beauty and married her partly due to pregnancy, do u think their love will last? or it just become a responsibility at the end?? how soon do u think one can understand the inner side of the other to get marry?

i guess, love is just to lengthy to debate and life is short... : (
live ur way... : )

Amidrin said...

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and opinion on this. I also agree with all of you that we need something more to support a relationship. But when we talk about trust, respect, commitment issues, etc... those are supporting points that need to be present in a relationship and when there isn't, those things turns out to become a problem isn't it? It might as well be called "love relationship problem".

So, to solve those love problem whether we realize it or not, we are actually asking ourself whether is it worth it to even bother solving it or just let go everything and walk out. If giving up on the relationship is not an option and both decided to work things through, then the reason for staying through in the first place is because both parties still love each other very much and based on that love, both will start working on solving the relationship problem together.

Having said that, that's why I think it is based on the love that is still present in the relationship that makes it enough to sustain it. If you don't love the person enough, then no matter how much or how good the person is, you'll still find it hard to sustain the relationship.

Sting, to answer your question, I don't think there's such thing as fall out of love because if it does, then that might be infatuation, not love.

stubborn-daydreamer, sure people can survive on love alone because no one can survive to be alone without love for the rest of their life. If you do not have love, you'll still crave for it at certain point of your life if not always.... isn't it? That's why there is people who die because of loneliness.

jiawen: Yes, I agree with you that it depends on how much you love each other in order to sustain it. If you don't love him/her enough, no matter how hard they try to gain your trust, respect and all, you'll still find it hard to sustain the relationship.