Monday, July 28, 2008

Heart Break......

When I was young, I wasn't a bubbly little girl. I had always imagine I had a dark cloud lingering above my head (imagination influenced by watching cartoons). Don't ask me why. Even now I could not remember what it is that made me having such an unhappy childhood life. My unhappiness drag on through to my teenage years. I began to search and try discovering myself. Throughout those self-reflection times I tried channeling my feelings and thoughts through writing poems. There were times where I was going through live tribulations and heart breaking moments that I had distroyed most if not everything that I have put my heart and soul into writing those poems down. I did not felt regret distroying my work of art back then. Perhaps it is because I was still very young and naïve during that time.

Sometimes when anger and emotions takes control, we feel there's nothing else more important then distroying and forgetting everything that would holds any memories and rememberance to us in that moment of misery, you know what I mean? However, as I was having some quiet moment to myself recently I do feel a pinch of regret for distroying those poems I wrote during my teenage years. It might probably able to help me search and understand myself better as I grows older. After my search and distroy rampage, my flow of thoughts in writing my own poetry has long gone ever since. Anyhow, there's no use crying over spilled milk. As I search through my junkies, I discover that I managed to salvage some of the poems. It looked as though it has gone through many years of neglect and abandonment as the pages soaked with dark yellow/brownish colour. Well, not that I had written many but there are a few..... Here is one among the first batch of poems I wrote in my early teens. If anyone happen to stumble upon my blog and so happen to read this post, please don't laugh. I know this poem sounds so lame.

Title: Heart Break

Such a lovely night,
With thousand blooming stars,
Shining above the sky,
I came walking...... walking......
To meet someone special.

I walk through the garden,
With autumn leaf under my feet,
When we both met at the path,
I feel disappointed,
I look into his eyes,
He looks worried,
I know there are something amiss,
My eyes began to weep.

When he uttered out a few words,
I feel in such a pain,
My heart began to break,
Which no one could put it back together,
I began to run,
Back through the garden,
I keep on running..... running.......
Back into my house.

My mother asked why,
My father asked why,
I don't care,
I continue running,
Back into my room,
My tears keep on falling,
That no one could stop it,
That's the most miserable day of the rest of my life.


Anonymous said...

what a lovely poem! Keep up the good work, Amidrin! Good to know that you have discovered yourself...

U.Lee said...

Hi Amidrin, its a very beautiful poem. I too love poems, but not writing it myself....I collect those I love.
But yours was written from your heart.
Reading it one can feel the anxiety, angush, unhappiness you had.Your poetry betrays the emotions you had during that time.
Well done, Amidrin.
You should continue again.

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.
When I was very young my mother advised me to write down things I want to remember....that contiued till today.

I brought with me here to Canada about 20 old, faded diaries and notebooks dating back to the 60's. Thats how I can bring out some of my stories in my blog.

Please go on writing makes you warm and beautiful in your heart and to those who read. Lee.

sting said...

that's beautifully touching.. I believe that things are so much better now ya :-) take care

Amidrin said...

martini: Thanks for your support and nice comment. I never expected that.

U.Lee: As always, you have always gives great comments. Thank you so much for your words of encouragements. I am not sure if I could really start writing poems again. My interest in it just seems lost.... not sure if it would come back though. Anyway, I don't think that I have any tallent in it. But I do agree with everything you said here. Thanks!

sting: Yes, things a so much better now. Arigato. You take care too.