Friday, November 23, 2007

8 Ways to Scare a Telemarketer

I had a little laugh having read this funny but useful tips on how you could scare off telemarketers. If you are constantly at home, especially SAHM, you would probably have experienced having some strangers calling you trying to sell you something.

For me, I am most annoyed by banks or insurance company calling me on my mobile phone asking me to buy their so called special insurance plan. They would say that it only takes about 5 minutes to listen to the insurance plan they are proposing and they spoke like a bullet train. How am I supposed to digest everything and with clear understanding on the insurance plan in 5 minutes before deciding to purchase it right at that moment? They will also further persuade me to agree with it because the registrations is simple, just by saying yes the required monthly insurance premiums need to be paid will be automatically charged to my credit card and they will send me the details in 2 weeks time. I wonder how many of you out there has fallen into this selling schemes and how many have actually taken but cancel off later.

Here are the 8 ways to scare a telemarketer that I read about:-

1. Ask him to talk v-e-r-y slooooowly, because you want to write down every word he says.

2. When he introduces himself (eh. Sam), immediately say, “Wah piang eh? Sam! Long time no see, man! How are you! Are you still living in that old place?” This should stun Sam for a while, as he scrambles to remember where he might know you from.

3. After he finishes his marketing spiel, tell him he must marry you first before you sign on.

4. If he says he’s Tan Ah Seng from ABC Pte. Ltd., ask him to spell his name. Then ask him to spell his company name. Then ask him where it’s located. Continue asking
him personal questions about the company for as long as you feel like it.

5. Insists the caller is actually your friend Benny, playing a joke. “Eh Benny, don’t like that leh! Stop playing the fool! Seriously, Benny, how’s your mother? Is she out of the hospital yet? Etc. etc.

6. After he finishes his pitch, say in a very creepy voice, “Thank you for calling
me. I don’t have many friends…....do you want to be my friend?”

7. If he asks “How are you?” Tell him, “Wah lau, got so many problems. My fish all
died, then my mother and father has this argument until the neighbors called the
police, and then it got worst, don’t know why, but my crotch was itching the whole day, so I went to the clinic and then…..” Continue till he hangs up.

8. Tell him you’re busy at the moment, and ask him for his home number so you can call him back. He’ll try to give his office number, but insists on his home number. When he says he can’t give his home number, ask him, “You don’t want some funny stranger calling you up at home and disturbing you, is it?”

6 comments:

BJ_BOBBI_JO said...

ha ha those are good ones!

Try this one :

Let out a savage moan and proclaim you are about to have explosive diarrhea with a touch of projectile vomitting. Ask the telemarketer if he/she can wait until you are done and then proceed to make diabolical repulsive sounds in the background and wait for him/her to hang up in disgust.

Or just proclaiming you have diarrhea works. I have done that one.

sting said...

hahahaha.. that's a good one! I like 4 & 7!! thx

Amidrin said...

BJ_BOBBI_JO - haha... the method you did is really funny and I'm sure it works well too! Thanks for sharing :p

sting - Glad that you had fun reading it. Maybe you could try out 4 & 7 if there's a chance eh? hehehe....

Lemonjude said...

Yeah read this email though..very funny way to reject....

Really got this kind of call a lot nowadays...i just reject everytime.

Michelle said...

LOL..good one.

As for me, when I hear he/she call from ABC company, I will ask, is it about insurance? If yes, sorry, I got no money or I am not interested. TQ.

So far they immediately put down the phone. :)

Amidrin said...

michelle, that's very polite of you to have answer them back nicely. I knew of some people who just slam down the phone. You are lucky that you have not met a very persistent one.