Friday, November 2, 2007

My new phobia

Since after my hospitalisation few months back, i have been lucky that I do not need to go back home from work by myself taking the LRT train home. That is because Ald has been so sweet to make sure he is able to send me home everyday. Until the day before yesterday, due to some work arrangement Ald unable to pick me up from my office so I had to go back by LRT train to a station which Ald is able to send me home from there. I really don't mind doing that once in a while after all I had been enjoying my share of convinience all these while and what is this small sacrifice that I have to make once in a while? I glady obliged to it.

Well, since I had that bad experience of getting really sick and the time it got extremely worst is when I was on the Star line LRT train, I have not been taking the Start LRT train home since then. So, two days ago when I have to go back this way again, I didn't know that I would have this new phobia of feeling my body falling sick again. The moment I step onto the train, standing at the exact same spot (well, that's my favourite spot), I really felt a mild panic attack. I think my brain really got a shock for it's life when I was horibly ill that day on the train and needed to be hospitalised. That's why when I go back by the same transport that day, my brain automatically play back the horrible ordeal that I had gone through at that time.

I couldn't provide the exact description on how I actually felt during the time I was on the Star LRT train 2 days ago. My body just suddently felt weaker and I would feel like I am about to faint, just like the day I was extremely sick on the train (minus the body numbness). Wow! This really freaks me out a little. I totally did not expect that I would have this phobia of getting on to Start LRT train when I go home. Oh! I certaintly do not want to feel panicky like this again. Hopefully my this new phobia will be gone in due time.

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